Divorce is often emotional and complex, and frequently, mistake after mistake is made with long-lasting results. Following are some common mistakes people make during a divorce, as well as tips on how to avoid them:
1. Making decisions based on emotions
Mistake: Allowing feelings of anger, resentment, or sadness to make your decisions could lead to choices not in the best interest of your future.
Tip: Try to approach the divorce with a clear mind. See a therapist or counselor who can help you manage your feelings for now so that you will be able to make sober decisions.
2. Inability to Appreciate Financial Consequences
Mistake: Lack of comprehension about your current financial status may lead to less desirable consequences in the division of assets, spousal support, or child support arrangement.
Tip: Gather all financial documents, understand your assets and debts, and consult with a financial advisor or divorce attorney to ensure you’re making informed decisions.
3. Not Prioritizing the Best Interests of Children
Mistake: Worrying more about how to “win” the divorce rather than what might be in your children’t best interest.
Tip: Keep the well-being of your children at the forefront. Work to create a stable and supportive environment for them, and try to shield them from the conflict as much as possible.
4. Failure to Consider the Tax Consequences
Mistake: Failing to consider the tax implications of property division, spousal support, and child support could ultimately result in financial surprise.
Tip: Ask a tax advisor about how your divorce settlement may affect your taxes, and make decisions that will lessen your tax liability.
5. Rushing the Process
Mistake: Agreeing hastily to a settlement just to "get it over with" can result in unfavorable terms that you will regret afterwards.
Tip: Go through all the details in a divorce settlement in your own sweet time. Understand and agree to the terms before you sign on the dotted line.
6. Hiding Assets
Mistake: Concealment of assets or financial information from your spouse may amount to legal consequences and can seriously affect your credibility in the court of law.
Tip: Be candid about the state of your current assets. Many courts treat hidden assets as a dim matter, and most of the time dishonesty may attract penalties or an unfair settlement.
7. Divorce as a Way of Getting Revenge
Mistake: Approaching divorce as a contest to "win" by punishing a spouse often leads to protracted litigation, increased expenses, and emotional exhaustion.
Tip: Focus on achieving a fair and reasonable settlement rather than seeking revenge. This approach can help you move on more quickly and with less emotional damage.
8. Overlooking the Long-term Consequences
Mistake: Making decisions based on immediate needs without considering the long-term impact can affect your future financial stability and emotional well-being.
Tip: Take a long-term perspective when negotiating the divorce settlement. Consider how decisions about property division, spousal support, and custody will impact your life years from now.
9. Neglecting Legal Representation
Mistake: Avoid hiring an attorney to handle the divorce, especially in complicated cases. This may lead to negative consequences.
Tip: Even if the divorce is ostensibly amicable, it makes sense to consult with an attorney to make sure that your rights are protected and that you understand the implications of the divorce.
10. Failure to update Legal Documents
Mistake: Failure to update the will, beneficiaries, power of attorney, and other legal documents after divorce may lead to some unexpected happenings.
Tip: Once the divorce is finalized, revisit all legal documents to update, in writing, all the changes due to your new status and current wishes.
11. Overlooking Social Security and Retirement Benefits
Mistake: Consequences of divorce on retirement benefits, pensions, and social security can be decidedly devastating if not thought out in advance.
Tip: Know how your divorce will affect your benefits and negotiate accordingly. It may mean the division of retirement accounts or the benefits one is entitled to.
12. Rebounding into a New Relationship Too Fast
Mistake: Jumping into a new relationship before you’ve fully processed the divorce can complicate your emotional recovery and legal matters.
Tip: Give yourself time to heal and reflect before starting a new relationship. Rushing into a new relationship can create additional stress and complications.
Conclusion Divorce is inherently complicated and burdensome; it is easy to make mistakes that will impact a person for years to come. With due care, professional advice, and a look toward the future rather than the past, these common missteps can be avoided. Fairness and reason can be pursued.